Welcome to the now infamous list, You Might Be an Irish Dancer If...!
The original list for Irish dancers went on for five years, from the Spring of 2000. It was created during a White Sox game at Comiskey Park (back when it was officially still Comiskey) in Chicago, Illinois by my friend Heather and I.
1. You can’t resist doing a few "tip-step, treble-change"s in the middle of volleyball.
2. All of your teachers know you dance — you do it while waiting for everyone to come into class (and during class, and after class, and in the hallways ...)
3. Your knees hurt, so you walk on tiptoe to make them feel better.
4. Common discussions are whether you want to do back23s or change23s.
5. You find yourself walking on tiptoe all of the time — and it’s perfectly natural.
6. Making yourself use your heels to walk up the stairs is a trying project.
7. You know all the words to your school’s steps.
8. You can stand on your toes at the strangest of times.
9. It’s 60 degrees out and you're still not cold — nomally you have a 20 pound dress on.
10. Sponges are part of what you put your hair in, and not something that goes in the sink!
11. You have a big lump of muscle either in the back or front that sticks out everytime you walk.
12. You actually know what the gaelic terms for the Teachers Test.
13. You have pulled more 3 muscles or broken a toe and dancing on them anyways — not feeling a thing.
14. You actually know how to fly in the air and come right back down into a bird.
15. You dont call IRISH DANCING "RIVERDANCING"!
16. You know what a "ceili" is and how to pronounce it.
17. March is your busiest month.
18. You fight with your friends about doing hopover drills rather than going to the movies.
19. Your favorite comeback is "and shuffle hopback, tip toe and backclick. Hop shuffle hopback tip toe and back click".
20. Your friend’s neon-green and fuschia "Footloose" shirt makes you call him "solo dress boy".
21. Everytime you see any kind of "Irish-wannabe" dancing, you find yourself cringing because of their knees, their placement, their posture, their arms...
22. You talk about fiberglass with your friends on a regular basis.
23. You can rationalize Michael Flatley’s somewhat obscure notion of putting an Egyptian theme into Lord of the Dance through mythology. (Only for the REALLY obsessed!)
24. Whenever anyone asks you, "How're you doing?", you mention what dances you’ve gotten better at.
25. Every time you hear Irish music, you start tapping along.
26. "Clown" and "Pilgrim" shoes are part of your normal garb.
27. All of your T-Shirts say something like "Reel Irish", "Riverdance", "______ School of Irish Dancing", "Dancing on Dangreous Ground", "Lord of the Dance", or mention Medusa in curlers...
28. You walk around hearing "Medusa!" because of your curls — but don’t think anything is wrong.
29. You know what a Treble is — and not something in the music.
30. You know that a jig is something you do and not something you fish with. ;)
31. You talk about Irish dancing 24/7.
32. You go out some place during an overnight feisanna, you look for someone with their hair in curlers to bond with.
33. Your parents say "pick a dress," your mind automatically goes to what your solo dress will look like.
34. You know "feis" is not pronounced "fice".
35. You know what a feis is.
36. You go some place and see someone in curlers — and think nothing of it.
37. You go someplace in curlers, and you think nothing of it.
38. Any story you write has to do with dance, Ireland...
39. You always turn out while standing (or sitting, or ...)
40. Watching a tap dancer makes you want to say "pick up your feet!"
41. You always have bandaids.
42. You are never short of the ultimate tool: Duct tape.
43. You always notice slouching.
44. People begin to think you are 6'0 rather than 5'4 because you are always doing toe walks.
45. Your legs automatically run on Irish Time.
46. Your legs are always straight when you jump or kick.
47. You always stand heel to toe.
48. When doing jumping jacks, you automatically turn your toes out, cross your feet and point your toes.
49. Walking like a duck with your toes turned out is normal!
50. Using "Body Adhesive" to glue your socks to your shins just doesn’t seem weird to you.
51. You know that "clogs" is not the correct terminology for hardshoes.
52. You are proud of your calloused feet and would never dream of getting a petticure!
53. Somehow you realize that Irish Dancing fashion stands in limbo and no current fashions can relate to it or taint it. For example: frizzy hair, flourescents, lace over flourescents with sparkles, socks hiked half way up your shins, and wigs can never really be considered odd in the Irish dance world!
54. If you're caught off-guard during class, it’s usually because you're chanting one of your steps in your head (or creating new ones).
55. You choreograph dances during ... well, always.
56. You can’t stop moving; if you’ve been sitting still for too long, you have a great need to at least wiggle your toes for a while.
57. All of your art projects somehow remind you of the dance.
58. Your friends don’t do madlibs with you any more; they'll get too many dance terms!
59. Your favorite celebrity is in one of the dance shows.
60. You can’t remember a time when "ghillie" wasn’t a word in your vocabulary.
61. You can remember the motto of every dance company.
62. Your friends refer to you by your competitor number at your most recent feis, and not by your name anymore. ("Hey 728! What’s up?")
63. You even glue your gym socks to your shins.
64. You have permanent indentations on your palms from your fingernails digging into them when you dance.
65. You spell "real" like "reel".
66. You can’t have a conversation with a friend without having to explain what something means. ("Wait, um ... What the heck is an Oireachtas?")
67. You can walk comfortably WITHOUT swinging your arms.
68. Your dance shoes are used so much, the bottoms are made up of cardboard and duct tape because the leather wore off.
69. Your prayers consist of "And bless my dance teacher, and bless Jean Butler, and my ghillies, and my feet..."
70. Your curling iron LIVES in the "on" postition.
71. You’ve actually thought of naming your kids Micheal and Jean.
72. You know that 7’s and 3’s CAN be done during class under your desk.
73. You’ve actually tried doing your steps in the pool.
74. Leaf is to tree as callus is to your foot!
75. "Feet of Flames" is actually quite literal.
76. You think curlers are cool, and you’ve worn them almost every place imaginable.
77. Your short, stick-straight hair gets longer and more curly on a regular basis.
78. Your friends call you "River Ditz".
79. You always need to stretch.
80. Your gym class can do your hornpipe better than you can.
81. You don’t know what the word "flashy" means any more; though your solo dress embodies it, you don’t think much of it.
82. You hang out with six year olds on a regular basis.
83. You don’t remember what number comes after "8".
84. You can’t be "Simon" in Simon Says any more; you always end up telling them to dance.
85. Flexible takes on a whole new meaning. (You try making your heel hit your hip to a slip jig beat without falling on your butt!)
86. You test out any clothes by making sure you can dance in them.
87. You can dance your reels to ANYTHING!
88. You actually find yourself screaming at your feet. "Lift, guys! Lift!"
89. You paint your nails (or consider dying your hair) to match your school dress.
90. You can’t resist not to dance on linoleum floors....even in the supermarket!
91. If asked to describe you in under 5 words, your friends can do it...."Um....very Irish".
92. Your closet is....uh....very colorful, to say the very least.
93. The most expensive thing you own worn’t fit you next year!
94. Your car has bumper stickers that say things like "FeisMobile", "Dancer Transport", and "Life in the Feis Lane".
95. Your feet go faster than your computer’s modem.
96. You have big bruises on your heels from accidently kicking your butt too hard.
97. You’ve thought about painting a border around your room with your school’s knotwork pattern.
98. You just know when someone has the perfect feis curls — it’s become intuition.
99. You don’t remember the last time you "walked" around the house...you only dance!
100. You love everything even REMOTELY related to dance (You write encouraging letters to farmers to keep supplying leather for ghillies....quite an odd connection there!)